


Whispering

by Nanashi_Soldier



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark, Depressed Newt, Gen, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3842380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanashi_Soldier/pseuds/Nanashi_Soldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He closed his eyes and felt the wind as he fell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Free Falling

**Author's Note:**

> So I got a bit depressed and wrote this. Blame a collection of images of Newt that says "Sometimes I wonder if being dead would be easier." Anyway, the title, which is the song Newt is listening to, comes from "Whispering" by Alex Clare. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LI_Z-sSJHE Feel free to listen to it while you read this.
> 
> Anyway, I regret nothing. *jazz hands off into the sunset*

He let the music filter through his headphones as he just walked down the sidewalk. He could feel the urge to just hum along. The song was one that was so familiar to him, a lullaby that he would embrace as he tried to fall asleep. It calmed his demons to grant him a peaceful night, the words on repeat.

His hands were tucked into the pockets of his jeans. It was so cold out and he could see his breath. The beanie atop his head was keeping his ears warm, his jacket holding in his body heat. However, he actually felt numb. The cool air barely bothering him as it hit his face. All he was doing was focusing on the music.

He finally allowed his fingers to escape their confines to run along cold metal. He hadn't bothered to bring gloves, he didn't need them. The sound of cars passing by didn't really bother him. No. His eyes were glued to the other side of the rail.

He had made up his mind as he made his way down his final path. His hands were shaking a little, his heart beating loud in his chest. It was beginning to compete with his music. He could feel the nerves swell up in his chest, but he refused to back out. He had already come this far.

He lifted himself onto the railing, slowly. One foot, then the other. This was his last chance to back out, to change his mind. He could feel the wind nip at his nose as he gazed down at the highway below the bridge. The cars didn't seem to care, something he was used to. It was better to go unnoticed, no one would stop him. It didn't seem like anyone was going to.

He wondered if anyone would miss him, if anyone would care. Would they begin to talk about how it wasn't his time? Would strangers and bullies tell lies of how they had been his friend? How tragic it is that he jumped? How surprising it is when he hasn't been himself in quite some time.

The thoughts that swarm in his head just made him sick. He had to shut them out as they began to overpower the song that was playing through his headphones. He needed the comfort, needed something that would help. He turned his music up, drowning out his thoughts. This helped clear his mind and solidify his final decision. It chased away doubt.

His lips began to move as he allowed words to leave his mouth as he began to sing along with the end of the song, "Suddenly hearing, when I want to scream. Oh, please just cut me down, leave me in my dreams." He closed his eyes and felt the wind as he fell. The feel of impact was brief and fleeting.


	2. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt awakens, but his regret of failing is replaced by guilt and hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I would be updating, so... Look an update! This chapter has been sitting half finished for months. I forgot where I originally was going with this fic, but I think I know what I want to do. Sadly this will, in turn, not be very long. Perhaps that is a good thing...

The light was bright when he first opened his eyes. He couldn't help but give in to the urge to close them. The sound of a constant beep had him wondering where he was. The brief realization that this wasn't heaven settled under his skin like an itch you just can't scratch. No. There would be no need for a heart monitor if he had succeeded.

If he had succeeded.

He had failed and it made him want to cry. He couldn't even end his own life without failing. Wasn't that pathetic? Now he would have to live with the knowledge that he was good for nothing. He was stuck in this nightmare.

"Oh, you're awake Mr. Isaacson." He glanced at the woman who had entered his room. Her hair was a dull brown, but it brought out the color in her eyes. Her expression was worn and tired yet warm and loving. She looked dead on her feet, like she had been doing rounds for too many hours and had yet to take a break. "You took a nasty fall." She wandered over to check his vitals.

"I jumped." His voice cracked as he spoke. He caught the sad look that crossed the nurse's face and he wasn't even sure why he hated it. He had never cared so much about what someone thought of him before, but there was something about her expression that made him want to do better. But he squashed that feeling. There was no need to think about that when he planned to succeed as soon as he could escape.

"Well, you won't be doing much of that." The nurse set her clipboard down after scribbling on it. "You've been in a coma for about a month. You've been slowly coming out of it for the last couple days. Do you remember anything?" He tried to think.

He remembered bright lights, beeping, and voices. He remembered his father's voice muttering hurtful words. He remembered his mother crying. He remembered his younger sister encouraging him to stay awake even though he would fall asleep once more. But Newt settled on shaking his head.

"I don't remember a thing." The nurse was quiet for a minute before nodding, as if accepting his answer.

"My name is Maggie. Your leg was pretty much destroyed. The doctors pieced it back together, mostly since your parents were not keen on amputation." Newt nodded slowly. "You will most likely need to go through at least several months of therapy before you can walk again, even then you will most likely need crutches." Newt just gazed at his leg. It was in a cast from his foot up to his thigh. "You're going to be alright, Newt." Maggie's gentle voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"How do you know?" He wasn't alright. He was far from it. He would never be alright.

"A mother knows." Maggie's smile was kind, one that Newt desperately wanted in his life. It was warmer than the pathetic ones his mother offered. Her look more welcoming than the annoyed glances his father gave him. Her words as sincere as his sister's, the only person who mattered to him. "Now rest. There will be a long day of doctors checking up on you and you'll need your rest."

Newt wanted to call her back, but simply closed his eyes. He could feel her run her fingers through his hair, brushing some strands out of his face. It made him relax enough to fall back into a peaceful sleep.

When he woke up, he felt someone holding his hand. He turned his eyes to see his sister holding his hand. Sonya's smile was sad as she squeezed his hand.

"Hey," he muttered.

"Hey," she responded. Their parents were nowhere in sight, which was slightly strange for Newt. Usually their dad was hovering, controlling everything.

"What are you doing here?" His sister's eye roll was fond and Newt knew it.

"Looking after my idiot big brother, that's what I'm doing." Newt would say they were close, mostly since they've had to look out for each other. It sent a wave a guilt crashing upon him remembering that.

"I'm sorry." He felt himself muttering.

"For what? For almost dying? For almost leaving me alone with them? For almost making me lose my best friend?" Her words were harsh, but Newt could see she was close to tears. "Don't do it again, Newt. Please."

"Sonya..."

"Promise me." Newt felt himself sighing.

"I promise." Sonya seemed to accept it with a nod.

"Then you're forgiven." Newt felt himself relax a little. "They're sending you to therapy, by the way."

"Wait. What?" Newt frowned and Sonya nodded.

"Yeah. You've been on suicide watch since you started to wake up, Maggie told me. She said you'll get removed off it and into therapy soon." Newt frowned.

"Just what I want." Newt grumbled.

"Do it for me, Newt?" Sonya tucked blond strands behind her ear, giving her best puppy dog eyes. Newt caved rather quickly.

"Fine."

"Good. And Alby says hello. He wanted to visit but you're only allowed family visitors for now." Newt missed his best friend.

"Tell him I'm alright, yeah?" Sonya laughed.

"No worries. I sent him a picture of you being a precious sleeping beauty not even half an hour ago." Newt groaned before a familiar throat cleared itself. Both turned to see Maggie in the doorway. There was a teen behind her, who seemed almost reluctant to be there.

"It's nice to see you awake, Newt. This is my son Thomas. Thomas, this is Newt." She introduced the two. In the simplest way to describe the boy, Newt would describe him as a kicked puppy. He was clearly uncomfortable, a hand clutching Maggie's scrubs.

"Hey there, Tommy," Newt spoke up. Thomas clearly relaxed at hearing him speak, acknowledging him.

"Hi," the smile that the other gave was shy and it actually made Newt want to hug him and hide him from the world.

"You two are going to be in group therapy together and I really wanted to give you a familiar face, Newt." The fact that the nurse was thinking about him had him feeling touched.

"Thank you, Maggie. I think me and Tommy would get along fine," Newt smiled at the teen who was gazing at his shoes.

"If you need anything, press the call button. Alright?" Newt nodded before he was left alone with Sonya once more.

"Precious little cinnamon bun," Newt heard his sister mutter.

"Did you just call him little? I'm pretty sure he's older than you." Sonya waved her hand.

"Minor details." She sat up and got a serious look on her face that Newt didn't like. "If you screw up being his friend, I'll kill you." Newt didn't doubt that but nodded. "Good. Now you rest, I have to meet up with Harriet." She placed a kiss atop Newt's head before getting up and heading to the door. "Hey, Newt?"

"Yeah?"

"You know we all love you, right? Me, mom, and dad." Newt frowned.

"I know."

"Don't forget, yeah?" Sonya waited until Newt nodded before smiling.

"Yeah, I won't."

"Good. See you later. And don't forget to be good friends with Thomas." His sister left and Newt tried to get comfortable. He thought about the shy Thomas.

Perhaps therapy wouldn't be too bad if the rest of the lot were going to be like him.


End file.
